Turn Left Turn Right Turn Everywhere

Back from long layoff...Sorry doods and poochies out there expecting something new out of this newly born blog. :D

I guess I am flustered enough this past two weeks. I was pretty much decided on going home. I have been delaying it for quite a while. Everytime I talked with my parents, they sounded as if they wanted me back so that I am close to them...not that I don't want to, but just being there makes them feel "real" I guess. Can't blame them since I've been away for so long. I think I can feel for them fearing that I will never "return" to their side. But I'm nothing but a filial son and I always thought about them first and not me. I know I got to take care of my two young brothers but it's not easy when you don't have money to support yourself for the upcoming times in Canada let alone them who've been supporting me in my earlier days in US and now supporting my brother who is studying in Australia. These times I've spent here looking for jobs has been fruitless and slowly eating away all the hard work I've amassed thus far. I guess money will always be a problem for a capitalist world that it is right now. Anyway, moving back doesn't seem bad at all...free lodging, free food, and love all around...okay, I admit it! I am a fool who also wants to be close to my family. It's always in the blood and I've really come to be afraid about the times I spent not thinking about my family. It feels eerie coz sometimes you just lost the consciousness that I "do" have parents and brothers!!

So there you go....all the thinking and all the weighing options has brought me to get prepared to go home. Packing stuff, trying to find ways to sell my stuff, and finding air ticket and selling my car! I will really miss my car...It's been a good companion in my first few days in Canada. It's the only one who stuck through the bad times eh bud? I really appreciate your help in getting me here, getting me around to look for house, through all those rainy moments, and the dark times...

First trying to find dealers who would be willing to buy my car. I guess going after the student market is not the right move *wink ~ you know them being a student makes their spending power less (thanks to marketing courses). I gotta target the right market, and I thought I could've had a backup plan with a dealer keen on buying my car. Alamak...turns out it's not as easy as it seems!! I shot e-mails at a couple of dealers in TO and a couple in MI. I even drove all the way to Windsor Honda to be rejected by the used car manager saying that they're not willing to buy a US vehicle. *sigh...well, I thought the TO and MI ones will give me better news. Sadly, that isn't true coz the ones in TO seem to be disinterested fearing that no one will be wanting a US car which has mileage and mi/h dominant on the odometer. Meanwhile, the MI dealers were not interested since it's plated in Ontario. :S shucks...what can I do to get a decent interested buyer?

Anyway, I've also been trying to find ticket prices and ways to send my personal stuff in the cheapest ways. That isn't as easy as well...aaaaaaa....very flustered...very disturbed...and I lost sleep over all these menial things...hahaha...

I want to thank Blogspot for allowing me to throw all sorts of my emotions in the past hour! hahaha...I mean it's not always easy to keep it to yourself. Not that I don't have friends to share it with, but having a trusted "friend" does come in handy. Also maybe it's the culmination of the frustration I get from not getting replies for the past 2 monts of applying and job searching.

Gosh...now it reminds me why I don't really want to move to another city or back to singapore or even jakarta. The times I spent apart from friends from the past doesn't really gel very well sometimes when you meet them outright. You just feel awkward since it's been a while that we hung out together. They might also be busy with their other partners. :D I will truly miss some of the friends I've made here. I always try to mingle and get acquainted with the different groups they have here...It's been fun, it's been crazy, sometimes want to make you punch something, sometimes you want to hug them, and sometimes you just want to share happiness and sadness together. But again, I am not the expert in reading people's emotions and characters so I restrain myself from being myself too much. :D

Anyway, in the Pooch House I think I found my salvation, my "church" (sort of), and a place to keep my thoughts and my feelings. It's treated me good, and I will return the favor the same. But for now, that's all I got to confess. Till the next time. Thank you, arigatou, sayonara.